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Saturday, April 12, 2008
10:44 PM

TODAY, my mum woke me up in the morning.. and well, she was screaming at me.. cus i didn get up. HAHA! well, things didn really go smoothly today... as in... i feel physically alright.. but spiritually, horrible. i have no idea why... i realised that for the whole day, i did not talk to God... went out with my mum in the afternoon... bought alot of things.. well, my MUM bought alot of things. haha! ... and i was feeling very grumpy. HAHA! ya.. like an old grump! haha! went home... feeling very tired... and den... i did my homework... do do do do... from evening do until at night. den still haven do finish... bt very tired, so dun bother doing anymore... dinner time.. the dinner was really yummy... my dad and my sis were joking... and i was laughing... bt i felt that my laughter was really miserable... i tried to laugh happily, but i really could not. LOL! den.. went to msn and talked to amy... she told me shes very excited about coming to my church tmr.. and i really dont noe why.. i dun really feel excited... i was, perhaps a few days ago... bt today, i feel so. BLEH... really spiritually down... den just now, eeling talked to me and said "you really had a heart transformation!" and i was like... "yea.. i did"... and i was telling myself.. "bt i dunno why, now i feel kinda pathetic." so i was thinking.... 'hmm.. maybe saturday is boring day.. tts why i feel sian? tmr is sunday and its going to be a nice day going to church!' but the more i thought about it, the more miserable i felt. HA! after that, i decided to go and sleep. i was lying on my bed, wanting to slp... bt i could not. i got up and i started pulling my hair and screaming... i hate to admit that i was feeling pathetic! ytd, and for the whole week, i was so high for God. but today, i felt really miserable... and i was thinking: "how come so fast can change one?" and i really have NO IDEA why.

i gave up thinking why.. and i could not take it anymore... i jumped out from my bed and started praying... i took out my bible.. i read psalm 145 that made me feel a LITTLE better. and den..i burst out in tongues... i cant rmb when was the last time i prayed in tongues... bt i was just praying and praying... and the more i pray, the more i felt God's presence... and it became so strong that i could not pray anymore.... i felt that he was just standing infront of me and i did not dare to open my eyes... it was amazing.. really amazing... i stood up, and i looked at the things around me... and, i smiled. just that few mins changed everything... and then i said, from deep inside my heart "YES MAN! im so excited i cant wait to go to church and praise God tmr!" now, im really so excited to go to church tmr! THANK GOD FOR EVERYTHING! :)

PRAISE GOD!

and now, i have an answer to guin's question ytd... I WILL STAND.