Higher

yay! MYE is over! after strugging for a few weeks... ahahaha! bt well, this MYE, quite terribly done... i guess? BUT i learnt alot of things during this one week of exam.. i rmb writin this in my post tt day "sometimes the Lord calms the storm. sometimes he lets the storm rage and calms the child" and on monday and tuesday, i felt like i was in the storm.. and i was going mad already. lol! the pile of things that i have not studied made me crazy... and on tuesday night, i had quite a long quiet time and God spoke to me... sometimes, its just the way i THINK. wahaha! and tt night, my mindset really changed... when i went back to sch on wednesday, i was telling myself "life would be boring if theres no tests and exams!"okay! MYE....... all the papers were very difficult... and im not sure if i can pass. but still, i put my trust in God! and knowing that my confidence is in God makes me feel better...and, comforted when i feel that im nt going to do well in the paper.. yeap. esp that A maths. wah! screwed. HAHA! bt nvm... its okay :) well, once again.. life is not just about tests and exams... tt day, before my exam, i was talking to my sis telling her tt im kinda scared abt the exam.. and she asked me "what happens if u fail ur test?" and i told her "nothing?" LOL! and i thought about it.. really lor.. so what if i fail? like as if anything will happen... and i felt much better after that...

ytd night, i was thinking...... even tho knowing that today, exam is going to be over, i felt sian... really really sian.. i was thinking... everyone is going to be so happy tt exam is over.. but how come i dun REALLY feel happy? (not happy but not sad) its like.... not much difference like tt leh? at first, at the beginning of exams... i could not wait for exams to be over... but when exam is going to be over, it seems sian.. like... okay! exam over liao... no need to chiong le! .. so what shld i do when im at home? slack at home like a typical boring saturday? the thought of slacking at home makes me SIANNN... besides, even after this mye is over, theres still more exams to come... OK! boring.... and so, i thought about working next time... sian sian sian... everything is sian... and den, the question came into my mind again.. "what is life?" and when i was about to think abt the "sian-ness"of life, God woke me up... he reminded me of a sermon tt day... about purpose in life... and then i thought about how God is going to use my life to bless many many many lives... and yesterday, i made up my mind that im going to do what God wants me to do in my life... and its his problem to let me know what it is!

hurray! now that exams are over... ive decided on something that i want to do! I AM GOING TO HAVE AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD! its time to get right with him... during the exam period, actually.... even tho i said i trust him... but do i REALLY trust him? im nt sure abt that... am i just saying from my mouth or do i really say it from my heart? so now, im giving up my time for God! :) since now exams are over, ive gt alot of time... AHHAHA! yes! theres a conference tmr and i believe i'll leave expo feeling blessed! (YES! tmr is not a typical boring saturday!!) wahahha! and sunday, im going service... hopefully, my fren can come... and... theres global day of prayer! wahhahaha! ohh! thinking abt these things makes me so excited! HURRAYYYY!!!

"think ive lost my way, but still ure there right beside me"