Sunday, August 17, 2008
10:09 PM
aha! what a day! this few days, many things happened and i seemed to be crushed by my own thoughts. on sat, i slept the whole day... i woke up at 11pm and i went back to slp at 1.30 and woke up at 6.30pm... i felt so tired... so i slp and slp.. bt the more i slp, the more tired i got... i was feeling really sian... so i decided to slp and forget about everything... i realised that running away makes me more miserable... so at night, i had a quiet time tt lastest for more than 1 hour... i was really asking God about my life... and abt the things that are happening around me... i was so confused abt the things around me... I was nt sure if was doing the right or wrong thing... suddenly, God seemed so far from me... and today, i woke up early and went to meet eeling at east point... and she was late :( bt anyway, we had a great fellowship.. got to share with her abt alot of things... its nice talking to her.... den we went to service together with Kelly... during worship, i felt really empty.. and i could not receive anything.. but the sermon spoke to me...
the sermon was really for me la... i thought abt what the pastor said... and reflected on it... he said alot alot of things that really spoke to me.. " I WILL BE CRUSHED AND RASIED UP!" today's sermon was about the vine.... abt how we can be fruitful... the 2nd part really spoke to me.. it was about pruning... pruning is not easy, its hard... and at that moment, i really felt that God was pruning me.. changing my character... to someone he wants me to be... im not perfect, thats why i need God... i realised that its not easy to obey God... infact, its SO HARD! so hard that sometimes i want to give up... but God taught me to not see the things that im facing now, but to look ahead, of the plans that he has for me.... so today, there was altar calling... and i went up... it was the first time i went up for altar calling by myself! muahahha!.... well, i knelt down before God... and cried my heart out... and God spoke in a really tender and soft voice "im moulding you to be a woman of faith..." and at that moment, they were singing the song "Draw me close".. and the lyrics "BRING ME BACK TO YOU!" oh man! what a touching song.... indeed, its all about God... and so at that moment, i laid down all my troubles at the foot of the cross... and, MUAHAHHAAA! i felt so much better after that!
God has so much more for me.....
"if anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me"
