Sunday, October 05, 2008
5:14 PM
wheeha! well, for this week, im not really fine. well, i didnt go service last week and for the whole week, i felt so awkward and uneasy. i was thinking how im going to survive next week. hahaa. yes, i didnt go for service today too, because im only allowed to go church after exams. and well, it feels very weird not being able to go for service. and for this week, ive been thinking alot about people and the things that are happening around me. hmm.. some things, i really dun understand. and i really wonder what God wants me to do abt it. whenever i think abt this word "marketplace transformation", i think its dot dot dot.... initially, i was so confident about it and i had so much faith in it. now, it sounds so scary! when i think about open cell in school, its like.. gee! what to do nxt? and its like... how am i to transform my school? eveyday i see the things happening in my school, i feel that its so impossible to change anything...
on tuesday, i was reading my devotional book and these words were flashed through my mind: "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." well, i guess that answers my question. then on the same day, i went to watch the online sermon. the whole sermon was talking about loving your neighbour. about loving others as myself.. and the word 'others' actually means everyone else. i think thats about christianity. and i guess thats what God has been teaching me from the beginning.... and about transformation? how can there be transformation if there is no love? and about the seed that must die. it is also about love, being willing to die. and i finally understood what God was trying to tell me.
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and
if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does
not envy, it does
not boast, it is
not proud. It is
not rude, it is
not self-seeking, it is
not easily angered, it keeps
no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres."
i need a heart to love.
