Sunday, October 26, 2008
9:49 PM
hello! for the past few days, ive been feeling quite erm... weird? well, my heart was feeling quite heavy, because of quite alot of things. went to a few websites and saw alot of things that make my heart pain. maybe because i read the book 'heaven is so real', i start to see alot of things differently... esp the ppl around me. i felt that i had to do something. God has to do smth. anyway, today morning, i dreamt that i almost gt killed and i was filled with fear. woke up feeling very scared and i realised that life is so fragile. i rmb pastor saying that after he started serving in hospital, he saw the patients suffer, he learnt to live everyday as if its the last day on earth. there are ppl trying so hard to live, yet there are also ppl trying so hard to kill themselves.
yesterday, i was thinking about alot of things. troubled by them... and i was asking God why EVERYTHING is not going my way... decided to leave my seat and go play the piano. the first song i played was 'fires of revival' and the lyrics "i needed to return unto the altar of my God to renew again my covenant with Him" made me feel better. today's service was not bad. but during worship time, i found it very hard to worship. my heart was so heavy. had alot of things in my mind. actually im not very sure wads wrong with me. well, God knows me better than i noe myself. and i felt that i needed to let go of everything and surrender it to God. and yes, i felt much better after worship. at least i can smile. haha! den the sermon, at first quite boring... den he started talking about prayer cell in marketplace. at first i was wondering what i can do abt open cell nxt year. den wah! the pastor mentioned tt we should start praying and he even told us what to pray for. MUAHAHAHA! i dun even need to think of what to pray! THANK GOD! hahahaa! the sermon was about praying and i just realised that i had lots of things to pray, but i have not really take time to pray. since holiday is coming, there'll be lots and lots of TIME for me to pray. HAHHAA! and i guess i cant escape from it. lol...
the song "from ashes to beauty" is nice. heard it during worship just now and so i decided to change my blog song :) i like the lyrics. "take these hands of mine and use me" and "take these feet of mine and lead me"
