Wednesday, February 22, 2012
11:49 PM
Wow! Its almost a year since i last logged on to blogger. I'm surprised i can still remember the password. I've been so busy that i don't have time + don't bother to update. HAHA!
The reason why i'm here is because i'm totally bored. I drank coffee a few hours ago and i feel so energetic! Holidays are here and i feel free like a beeee..... (Not exactly)
This evening, i met up with Aunty Heidi. I received an SMS from her two days ago saying that she wants to meet me for coffee. And I obviously agreed. I had a good talk with her and was reminded once again of her late husband. Sometimes i see uncles in NUH that looks like him too. Oh well, I don't feel at all sad because i know that he's in a better place. I remember ps patrick telling me once, "The comfort is knowing that the patient is with the Lord, but the pain is knowing he's not."
Oh well, i shall share something encouraging! I read this to Cai Hong last year cause i thought it was amazing. It's a testimony from the book, "God in the storm". Here it goes...
"God visited me last Thursday night, while I was in bed. I had not been able to sleep that night and i remembered getting up to use the bathroom around 3am ... I did not see a vision, or feel the flutter of angel wings, or hear a still small voice. But I had sweet communion with Him. I remembered words from Him flooding my soul. The words did not enter my ears, but I felt like my mouth was wide open, and I was eating them up. In the last few weeks that I had been in pain, I had asked God over and over, "Why are you allowing me to suffer this pain? It is of no benefit to you, or me. This is so meaningless!"
But that night, He came and explained to me why. He knows the pain i was going through, but He wants me to experience this pain so that i can understand fully the pain that His dear Son endured... I have been a Christian for a long time. I have accepted God's gift of His Son on the cross for my sins. But I had never fully understood why Jesus had to endure the agony on the cross. That night, i understood why. Enduring the pain and suffering was part of the price He paid for us, since pain was part of the punishment for sin. I also finally understood the awfulness of sin; it leads to pain and death, which I would have to endure in hell had it not been for my Saviour. Having this pain from pancreatic cancer reminds me of the awfulness of sin and its consequences, and allows me to appreciate fully what is cost God to redeem us.... He put everything in such clear perspective, so that I could understand the whole panorama of his great redemptive plan for man. I remember thinking, let this last forever ... During the visit, He did not indicate to me if He was going to heal me. It did not occur to me to ask Him. At that time, it did not seem to be that important. "
